This Yr (live)

by Jennifer Leonhardt

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Alice Gilmartin I love this track because it is so beautiful and hauntingly poignant and truthful about a year few people would be easily able to bear. Jennifer's lyrics are so well written and her voice is amazing singing such painful experiences with such profound gentleness and truthfulness! Heartbreaking events told in such a beautiful tune, one I'll never forget!!!

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about

The year 2008 was a complicated one, in the world, in America and also in my own life. I was touring and based out of Austin at the time; this track was written after the year had turned and things looked pretty unclear, in terms of next steps. This song illustrated some of that uncertainty. It was only performed live twice, once during a radio promotional tour with the president of the new label I had signed with, Andrew Calhoun, and once the night I played to a quiet listening room outside New York City, on a solo stint in late spring.

lyrics

this yr
nothing's the same
pine cones for cactus
on a southern rail

drove out east
then i went the other way
there ain't no way out
of this endless passion play

late last summer
it was so hot and dry
had an ex-lover
try and take my life

hit my head on the pavement
and everything went black
now i don't remember much anymore
and there ain't no going back

come along december
got a call from new york
my brother's sick and falling
needs me to bring him back

doctor's rounds at midnight
in the i-see-you
took until the new year
to know he would pull through

home a couple a weeks
it's my daughter from berlin
"mama fly over and help me
for the trouble i'm in"

lonely surgical theatre
in a language she don't even speak
me i couldn't fly
i had no passport that week

now it's coming on for spring
voice of the turtle is heard
and i'm a changed person
since my daughter was hurt

got a call from the wilderness
gulf of mexico
my sister's husband took his own life
he had no where else to go

she took him everywhere for treatment
and they said he couldn't pay
she couldn't get him no relief
or take his pain away

come a wednesday afternoon
just him and a .38
put a bullet in the place
where his promise lay in wait

now it's late summer again
three funerals since then
i seen a lot of loved ones
with the look of change about them

seems we're all in this together
though there's been hell to pay
bound by bonds of loving
come what may

so sorrow's been my mother
and she's been my father too
taken me from girl to woman
just like i asked her to

but i'm keeping for me the love-notes
and flowers i have pressed
in books about forgiving
here in the wilderness

here in the wilderness

credits

released May 21, 2018

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Jennifer Leonhardt Los Angeles, California

A serious girl from Ft Worth contemplates the Uni-verse

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